I work a Serious Job as a criminal defense attorney. My days are filled driving across the state visiting my clients in various prisons, negotiating with opposing counsel, filing motions and memoranda, and attempting to teach criminal law and the rules of evidence to judges.
By night (and weekends), I am a glitter-legged, roller-skate-wearing zebra who chases jammers and blockers in a circle while sending them to the box for various roller derby penalties. In other words: I am a roller derby referee with my local league. My name is Fury Selection.
I exist at the intersection of obduracy and whimsy. I enjoy dancing upon the tightrope between the improbable and the patently absurd. Thus, it came as no surprise that when a former colleague of mine caught Reggie's case, he came to me with Reggie's Rules.
Reggie's Rules (as photographed above) were taken during a raid of a crack house. The document was the subject of litigation: The State insisted that dumb-and-down-on-his-luck 19-year-old Reggie was the Crack House Kingpin. Clearly, his Rules demonstrated that he exercised complete dominion and control over the premises, and was therefore leading a Huge Conspiracy. Drug Lord Reggie had crafted and drafted his rules as a symbolic gesture as if to say to his minions: Bow before me! I am King!
In the end, Reggie was convicted and sentenced to serve seven years in the state prison. And his rules have lived on, delighting both my friends and the nameless, faceless criminal defense attorneys who have happened upon them during random Google searches.
Now, Reggie's Rules and Reggie's Ring of Conspirators, Henchmen, and The Undead, live on in tableaux made of LEGO.
I started these as a joke, really. They don't follow any certain story line. They're just little pictures in time, depicting whatever happens to be going on with Reggie's Ring. Soon, though, an overarching plot shall emerge. Stay tuned.
No comments:
Post a Comment