The end? (6 of 7)

Ah, the satisfaction of a job well done.  Brad, Steph, Hank and Frank ride off into the sunset.

The End.

Oh, crap.  Not the end.  Close to the end.  Whoops!  It's really, like, the penultimate scene.  Not actually the ultimate scene.  So y'all are gonna have to wait around for a few more seconds.  Sorry.  (Naw.  I'm not really sorry.)

Regular old action. (5 of 7)

While Brad and Steph distract down below, Hank and Frank merely act up above.  One shinnies up the drain pipe while the other breaks into the bank through the skylight.  Oh, banks.  They're so awesome to rob because that's where all the money is!

(Distr)Action! (4 of 7)

Brad and Steph spring into action!  Steph grabs a sword, Brad an ax-looking thing (sadly, Brad's brain has gone soft and he can't remember the name of the weapon, though he's certain it is NOT a sword) and a sickle.  They race into the lobby of the bank, creating a distraction.  People are distracted!  There is so much distraction!  Success! Brad and Steph make silly noises and practice stage combat.  It distracts all the employees!  It distracts all the patrons!  People cheer and applaud wildly at the show.  Brad and Steph are so happy that there will be no police chase, and no burning cars.  Their successful distracting has given them the best escape route ever!  (BOO!  Distraction!)

It's pretty great.

Foiled again? (3 of 7)

Ever the faithful wife, Steph agrees to be a part of Reggie's operation.  After all, Reggie hasn't really left her much choice.  "It's your choice," she recalls Reggie telling her.  "You may choose to be a part of my operation, or you may choose for me to behead you in the City Square with my guillotine."  And then the worst part: "Headless women don't get to eat cake!"  (Clearly, Reggie had overheard Steph and Brad's newlywed cooing--their entire relationship was based upon the fact that each preferred cake to pie in terms of post-prandial confections.)

But a guillotine?  And speaking of odd weapons...

Brad has brought a bucket of swords with him: foils and broadswords and a sickle (which isn't a sword, but who doesn't keep sickles on hand?).  An odd choice of weapons.  Was the plan to be foiled by a severe lack of firepower?  Ah, but Brad had had no choice.  Two weeks prior, tragedy had occurred when an escaped mental patient absconded with the mental hospital's entire artillery.  (Why keep an artillery at a mental hospital?  Patient management.)  Within 48 hours of his escape, 50 people were dead when he blew up a Post Office.  Since then, nary a citizen of Lego City could obtain a firearm.)

Brad and Steph pull up to the City Bank.  They have no other choice but to make do with the weapons they have.  They pray it will be enough.

The plan. (2 of 7)

Reggie sees Brad and Steph approaching and is happy to have another player.  In his experience, husband-and-wife couples work best: The intensity of the relationship keeps the criminal enterprise going, and the taboo nature of the criminal enterprise turns the spark of a recent marriage into a blazing fire of passion.  The married couples rarely rat each other out, and even when that happens, one usually kills the other before the authorities ever catch Reggie's scent.

After Reggie ushers Brad and Steph inside, he confers with Hank, who is acting as point for this operation.  Ah, a good old-fashioned bank robbery.  Nothing makes Reggie happier and more content than going back to the basics of crime.  Hank and Frank will break into the safe upstairs while Brad and Steph create a scene in the front lobby.  A deceivingly simple plan.

A new beginning. (1 of 7)

Ringing in the New Year and a new beginning, Brad and Steph's wedding bells tolled at midnight on January 1, 2013.  Though they knew their lives would never be the same, they had no idea what horrors lay in wait for them just around the corner.  And all because Brad had forgotten to pay Reggie's loan sharks.

Three weeks after their wedding, Brad was asked--nay, ordered!--to arrive at Reggie's crack house.  "Bring weapons," Reggie told him.

"How will I know it's the right house?" Brad asked.

"You'll see Hester, my bottom bitch and watchdog out on the stoop," said Reggie.  As Brad took a breath to ask that Reggie leave him more time to repay his debt, Reggie hung up and Brad was left with little more than the echo of the dial tone.

  Though Brad begged her not to, Steph insisted upon chauffeuring Brad to his meeting with Reggie.  

[Ed note, A "dial tone," dear readers, is the sound one heard through a telephone line, alerting the caller that the line was active.  This was before cell phones, when land lines were more than objects that existed in old wives' tales.]

(An unreasonable hiatus.)

December was a difficult month for me.  So difficult that during a Fit of Ridiculousness, I took all  my LEGO and threw it into a huge HEFTY bag, which was deposited in the basement.  Less than a week later, I brought the bag back to my office (where the Block Docket magic happens), and took a look at the havoc I'd wreaked.

The trash bag was full of shattered LEGO sets and broken dreams.  Worse, yet, it contained so many stories left untold--so many crimes committed by Reggie and his crew of miscreants, so many dismembered minifig bits, and oddly enough, a rather large number of LEGO horses.

My closet holds new sets including a lawyer with an alien eating his head, a convertible car for the Friends (no doubt bought with laundered money) and a freakin' unicorn.  My LEGO supplier has set a roller derby jammer and a judge aside for me (pictured above).  It's a brave new world out there!

So don't fret.  There's more coming.  I just need a bit of time to rebuild.  Until then, take care of yourselves.  And each other.